What do you expect to happen?

When I think about the ways we talk to others sometimes, I often consider the 'outcomes' I expect. Behavior modification might be the basis of some communication.

So... If I tear into someone (my kid, a driver, someone I work with) what do I expect them say? How do I expect them to respond?

Consider these scenarios:

• Mother to her son: "What are you thinking? What kind of crazy/stupid/bonehead decision was that?    He is going to say, "Thank you, Mom, for helping me realize I need to make a different decision and be a better person. I will go to college and will manage my time to where I can study 3 - 4 hours per day."
• Driver to other drivers: "Idiots!" The bird. Other drivers are going to hear or see your anger and think to themselves, "That was really inconsiderate on my part.  I need to speed up, use a signal, get out of the left lane and yield to all other drivers so that traffic will flow more smoothly."
• Sister to her brother: "I am sick of you. How would you like me to kick you in the face?" And the brother says to her, "I don't want you to be sick of me.  I want to be a good brother so that we can have a great relationship, and so you won't kick me in the face. That would hurt, and I really do love you."

So I am being open and direct here.  When you want something from another individual, first think about IF that person can even give you what you are wanting.  THEN think about how you could communicate with him or her to get what you think should be delivered.  Is that being manipulative?  Maybe, but it's also being a good communicator and thinking about how to get the desired outcome.  Hopefully the desired outcome is honorable and in the best interest of humankind.  If it's not then maybe I/you/everyone should just not say anything.