Just one of my quirky qualities; on good days, I just try to talk less and less to most folks ;-)
Monday, August 22, 2011
I realize I say the weirdest things...
Just one of my quirky qualities; on good days, I just try to talk less and less to most folks ;-)
These are a few of my favorite things....
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| My dressing table. |
I don't like whiskers on kittens, but I do like raindrops on roses and brown paper packages tied up in string. And I like
- A cup of steaming coffee - the smell and the taste and the comfort
- Sunday dinner in my kitchen with all of my kids there
- The scent Splendor in the Bath in my dressing room
- The windshield of my car to be really clear and clean
- White shirts and blouses. I have 19. (That is embarrassing but true! I don't think one can ever have too many white shirts.)
- Quilts instead of comforters
- My winter pajamas. I have had them since Ali was born -- and she's about to turn 15.
- When people call me 'friend' - As in "I am glad to hear from you my friend!"
- Rock and Roll. And the blues.
- Fresh flowers.
- The cool side of the pillow
- Guilty by Gucci
- Foreign films.
- Food. Especially fresh food. Right this moment cevichi sounds sooooo good.
- MAC make up and that cool stuff that makes your eyelashes grow longer and thicker
21 Years - that's a long time to be married!
That is a long time to be married, and with some luck and more blessings and determination, I bet we make it another 21 years.
Sometimes it bothers me when I think of all the days I have forgotten - all the quiet but beautiful events in a day that kind of fade away after a year or after 20 years. But I have a few vivid snapshot memories from my wedding day on September 1, 1990.
My first memory is of the early morning when I was getting ready to go to the church. I awakened before Grandmother, and I went into her bathroom so I could take a shower instead of a tub bath. As I showered and contemplated all of the implications of the day, I became overwhelmed. I worried that I wasn't 'marriage material' and that this might be a huge mistake. I worried about guilt because I felt so guilty for being divorced. I worried about Scott and his world changing to include an additional father figure. Well, with all of that thinking I turned into a puddle of tears and was still sniffling when I left the bathroom. I thought Grandmother was still asleep, but she wasn't. She sat up in bed and held her arms out to me. I went and sat on the edge of the bed and just cried like crazy. She didn't ask me to explain or talk - she just started praying. She prayed for me and for my calmness of spirit. She prayed for me to be the wife I wanted to be. She prayed for Jay and his strength and leadership in our new family. She prayed for Scott and for his security and value. She prayed for our future children. She prayed for all the wedding guests, the minister, the organist...She prayed for love and strength to surround us on our wedding day and each day therafter. After the Amen and the hug, I was ready.
My other Sept 1,1990 memories? I remember slipping into the church kitchen to take another peek at my beautiful flowers and finding Jay there. He hugged me and told me that no matter how nervous he was about a wedding that he was NOT nervous about marrying me. He loved me.
I also remember that while my Aunt Mak sang the Prayer of St Francis of Assissi, I cried again. (I can be so sappy.) The tear trickled down my cheek, but Jay and I were facing each other and he touched my cheek and wiped the tears from my face. The 'awe...' was audible from the congregation and we laughed.
I am glad our anniversary occurred during my 50 Days Befor 50 blog so that I could write about it.
Sometimes it bothers me when I think of all the days I have forgotten - all the quiet but beautiful events in a day that kind of fade away after a year or after 20 years. But I have a few vivid snapshot memories from my wedding day on September 1, 1990.
My first memory is of the early morning when I was getting ready to go to the church. I awakened before Grandmother, and I went into her bathroom so I could take a shower instead of a tub bath. As I showered and contemplated all of the implications of the day, I became overwhelmed. I worried that I wasn't 'marriage material' and that this might be a huge mistake. I worried about guilt because I felt so guilty for being divorced. I worried about Scott and his world changing to include an additional father figure. Well, with all of that thinking I turned into a puddle of tears and was still sniffling when I left the bathroom. I thought Grandmother was still asleep, but she wasn't. She sat up in bed and held her arms out to me. I went and sat on the edge of the bed and just cried like crazy. She didn't ask me to explain or talk - she just started praying. She prayed for me and for my calmness of spirit. She prayed for me to be the wife I wanted to be. She prayed for Jay and his strength and leadership in our new family. She prayed for Scott and for his security and value. She prayed for our future children. She prayed for all the wedding guests, the minister, the organist...She prayed for love and strength to surround us on our wedding day and each day therafter. After the Amen and the hug, I was ready.
My other Sept 1,1990 memories? I remember slipping into the church kitchen to take another peek at my beautiful flowers and finding Jay there. He hugged me and told me that no matter how nervous he was about a wedding that he was NOT nervous about marrying me. He loved me.
I also remember that while my Aunt Mak sang the Prayer of St Francis of Assissi, I cried again. (I can be so sappy.) The tear trickled down my cheek, but Jay and I were facing each other and he touched my cheek and wiped the tears from my face. The 'awe...' was audible from the congregation and we laughed.
I am glad our anniversary occurred during my 50 Days Befor 50 blog so that I could write about it.
These are a few of my (least) favorite things...
As I write this, I have the tune of Julia Andrews singing "These are a few of my favorite things" ringing through my thoughts. Only catch is that this is a list of my personal least favorite things!
I don't like:
I don't like:
- purple or teal
- radishes
- Paladian windows in late twentieth century architecture
- rugs on top of carpet
- leggings worn with shirts that are too short
- to brush my teeth before I drink coffee
- Ratt and (most) Motley Crue
- super ditzy sounding voices
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Helicopter Mom - an underrated talent
Absolutely. I am a helicopter mom, and I think it's ridiculous that some sassy person in student development somewhere coined that term and decided it wasn't cool to hover over your kids. Hovering comes natural for me, and I love to hover. It's one of my strengths.
Scott and Jay have been through this Men's Fraternity program, and one of the concepts they discuss (without moms or women present) is the concept of mothers needing to 'hold on loosely' to their children. (Doesn't Foreigner sing that song?) Same point the student development counselors are trying to make.
But I like to hover... I like to know what they're thinking. I like to give them reminders about stuff they need to do to prepare for a class, to apply for a job, to communicate with a coach, to share with a girlfriend, to write thank you notes. I feel like it's my job to help them develop healthy habits and to remind them to get to church and family dinners on time. It's my joy in life to advise them about making their own deposits in a timely manner and to remind them to not waste money on fast food and the quick stop. And as a teacher and recent student myself, I can be a great help to them with homework and studying.
And when they are sick? Oh yes, I hover the best when they are sick or need to go to routine doctor appointments. If your eye is red and itchy, you should go to the optometrist immediately. If allergies are bothering you, then I'll be right there with the Clariton. Losing too much weight? Weight Gainer shakes with bananas. And heaven forbid that you get hurt, but if you do and it's more than a band aid and monkey blood will fix, I'll be there 24/7 harassing nurses and quizzing doctors.
I'd like to think they could tolerate this hovering since I also hover over their hearts with love and with prayers. I pray for each of them by name every morning.
Oh well. My hovering qualities will remain unappreciated, but because I believe in the validity of hovering, I may continue to do so.
Scott and Jay have been through this Men's Fraternity program, and one of the concepts they discuss (without moms or women present) is the concept of mothers needing to 'hold on loosely' to their children. (Doesn't Foreigner sing that song?) Same point the student development counselors are trying to make.
But I like to hover... I like to know what they're thinking. I like to give them reminders about stuff they need to do to prepare for a class, to apply for a job, to communicate with a coach, to share with a girlfriend, to write thank you notes. I feel like it's my job to help them develop healthy habits and to remind them to get to church and family dinners on time. It's my joy in life to advise them about making their own deposits in a timely manner and to remind them to not waste money on fast food and the quick stop. And as a teacher and recent student myself, I can be a great help to them with homework and studying.
And when they are sick? Oh yes, I hover the best when they are sick or need to go to routine doctor appointments. If your eye is red and itchy, you should go to the optometrist immediately. If allergies are bothering you, then I'll be right there with the Clariton. Losing too much weight? Weight Gainer shakes with bananas. And heaven forbid that you get hurt, but if you do and it's more than a band aid and monkey blood will fix, I'll be there 24/7 harassing nurses and quizzing doctors.
I'd like to think they could tolerate this hovering since I also hover over their hearts with love and with prayers. I pray for each of them by name every morning.
Oh well. My hovering qualities will remain unappreciated, but because I believe in the validity of hovering, I may continue to do so.
It's StephONI
Not Steph. Not Steffy. Not Stephane. Not Stephanie.
It took me a long time to like my name -- now I morethanlikeit -- I love it ;-)
Stephoni
It took me a long time to like my name -- now I morethanlikeit -- I love it ;-)
Thursday, August 4, 2011
It's tough to like people sometimes
Tough to LIKE people? Yes, it's true. There are some people I just don't like, and it's usually because I am getting a subtle vibe of snobbery. (Is that even a real word?) Or maybe they are just stubborn or mean. Or even too perfect, and I am jealous.
I have had experiences where I thought I didn't like someone, and once I had a personal conversation with them, I realized that I liked them and wanted to have conversation and maybe even a friendship. That's nice when that happens.
But there are a few people that once I have had that conversation I thought to myself, "Stephoni, you were right. You don't like this person." Maybe he was too power crazy. Maybe she was judgmental always talking about other people's badness. Maybe he has a theology that I just can't accept, or maybe she is impossibly shallow and there's just no depth there. Maybe I feel foolish because I am not as cool. Maybe I am outside of The Circle.
So people I don't like and don't want to be around exist. The thing I insist upon is keeping those feelings of dislike quiet and to myself. And maybe ever so often, give them another chance because it could be my insecurities or narrow-mindedness.
Or maybe not.
I have had experiences where I thought I didn't like someone, and once I had a personal conversation with them, I realized that I liked them and wanted to have conversation and maybe even a friendship. That's nice when that happens.
But there are a few people that once I have had that conversation I thought to myself, "Stephoni, you were right. You don't like this person." Maybe he was too power crazy. Maybe she was judgmental always talking about other people's badness. Maybe he has a theology that I just can't accept, or maybe she is impossibly shallow and there's just no depth there. Maybe I feel foolish because I am not as cool. Maybe I am outside of The Circle.
So people I don't like and don't want to be around exist. The thing I insist upon is keeping those feelings of dislike quiet and to myself. And maybe ever so often, give them another chance because it could be my insecurities or narrow-mindedness.
Or maybe not.
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