Getting fired at 47

Losing my job at a private Christian university after 18 years of service was the most emotionally devastating experience of my life.  I was committed to the university -- to the students, to the integration of faith and learning, the the lifestyle commitment, to other faculty and to teaching writing with my whole heart.  I didn't just teach Comp and Tech Writing.  I studied the craft of teaching writing.  I learned and practiced how to engage students in the process and help them develop their writing skills.  I think I was pretty good.

However, I had been officially full-time only three years, even though I had taught a full load many years prior. When this non-tenure granting institution decided to reposition itself - I was one of four full timers who did not receive a contract for the following year.  Or in other words, I was fired.  

Devastated doesn't begin to describe my feelings. Walking to 'the meeting' in the library, driving home, the hammer of my heart as I struggled . .  are resounding memories.  The pitiful looks from former colleagues as they watched me navigate that gauntlet is something I would like to be able to forget. But I can't.  I made it home and went straight to bed.  Jay came home from work early. I cried and sobbed.  My children were very compassionate.  

It would take many many paragraphs to detail the weeks and months following this event, but to say that the reasoning and the actions taken by the university were absolute crap is the gentlest comment I can make.  Now, two years following this massive repositioning, the university is in no better position than it was in the spring of 2009.  No better off.  

The good news? Yes there is good news!  I am in a much much better position than I was as an employee of that institution. Professionally, personally and financially better. Hurt like hell, but ultimately they did me a favor. I am thankful I can now say I wish the best for that institution and for my dear friends that remain there. God bless them all. It took a while to achieve this peace.